Peter: They will clean up all your talking in a manner such as this
Brian: They will make you take a tinkle when you want to take a piss
Stewie: And they'll make you call fellatio a trouser-friendly kiss
Peter, Brian & Stewie: It's the plain situation! There's no negotiation!
Peter: With the fellows at the freakin FCC!
Brian: They're as stuffy as the stuffiest of the special interest groups...
Peter: Make a joke about your bowels and they order in the troops
Stewie: Any baby with a brain could tell them everybody poops!
Peter, Brian & Stewie: Take a tip, take a lesson! You'll never win by messin'
Peter: With the fellas at the freakin' FCC
And if you find yourself with some young sexy thing
You're gonna have to do her with your ding-a-ling, Cause you can't say penis!
So they sent this little warning they're prepared to do their worst
Brian: And they stuck it in your mailbox hoping you could be coerced
Stewie: I can think of quite another place they should have stuck it first!
Peter, Brian & Stewie: They may just be neurotic Or possible psychotic
They're the fellas at the freakin FCC!